MOVED TO

xxbellamuertexx

Feeling: accomplished

Listening to: "All That I've Got" The Used

MOVED TO xxbellamuertexx .

Over the past month, I've been making some serious life changes, letting go of people and habits that aren't working. I'm starting a new path in life. I have a new attitude. I'm losing the whole "my life is a never ending black hole of misery and despair" mentality, and I'm walking towards the light. I'm learning to let go. I'm learning to move on. And one step I can take is by moving to a new journal. It's not 100% complete yet, but I can't wait any longer to move.

I know that an online journal is not the most important thing in the world, but I love this place. [Amanda and Aurora, you are two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for <3]. I've been on this username since eighth grade, so for three years. I need a change.

This new journal will be friends-only. I've never had a journal like that before, but I need a place to turn to when I need to vent, because the only other person I can really talk to now is my best friend, and I don't want to drive her insane ^___^. If you chose to follow me, I will automatically 100% for sure add you at my new journal, because I love you all. Either comment here, there, or add me and I'll eventually notice.

And if you chose to let me go, I completely understand. I appreciate everything you all have ever done for me, and the advice you've given means so much.

 Never give up on your dreams. You are stronger than you know.

<3 Always, Raven.

Feeling: blank

Listening to: "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" by My Chemical Romance

Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes. Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen. Not knowing you'd change from just one bite, I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight. And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said? Before I pull this trigger, your eyes vacant and stained... And in saying you loved me, made things harder at best.

Feeling: discontent

Listening to: the silence

  
 
I just stumbled upon these lyrics, and they made my heart stop.
...and I have no idea why.
They bother to the point that I don't think I can go to sleep now.

...and I have no idea why.

( ~Carousel~ by Linkin Park )

Feeling: awake

Listening to: "The River" GC

[*squeals*]

A bunch of you made my day today and I love you all <3

Have a wonderful day rest of the week, everyone.

<3 Raven.

Feeling: pensive

Listening to: "The River" Good Charolette ft. M Shadows and Synyster Gates

( Because my life is so music-oriented that I have to make a personal connection with every fucking song I hear... )

Feeling: excited

Listening to: "Take Me Away" Avril Lavigne

Just so everyone knows, I am going on HIATUS until Monday because I'm going out of town for the weekend with my best friend. I apologize in advance for the lack of comments.

And as soon as I get back, I'm making a MASSIVE update about the MCR concert yesterday. It was amazing beyond all words and I am a different (and better) person now. It was seriously a life altering experience. (SHUT UP, I'm addicted.) The only bad part was that I screamed so loud and jumped so much that I have almost no voice and every muscle in my upperbody hurts!!

But yes. If anything terribly important happens while I'm gone, leave me a comment. If not, see you all Monday! ^___^

<3 Raven.

Feeling: weary

Listening to: "Good Enough" Evanescence

XXXXXXXXX

"Never Too Late"

Three Days Grace

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

~~~~~~~~~~

There is a lot to be said for having hope. That, and the will & strength to keep moving everyday. I know so many people who are just ready to give up. Even some people on here. But you can't. You just can't give up.

Life can be a beautiful thing, and it is worth living. To see the rainbow, you must first endure the storm. You have to keep fighting, no matter how hard it is and no matter how much easier it would be to just give up. I believe that here is an inner strength in all of us that remains untapped until we are pushed to our limits... physically, emotionally, mentally. Strength can be found in the strangest places at the strangest times. And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall, pouring life down on me.

Please remember that NO LIFE is worthless, and each life is worth living, only if it's just one day at a time. I wish there was something I could do or say to take away everyone's pain & sadness, to make everyone see that it's never too late, but there isn't. Ultimately, I think, it's all within yourself. Keep fighting... just stay alive. I am fighting here beside you.

It's not too late.

It's never too late.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Feeling: contemplative

Listening to: "37mm" by AFI

I flee to decemberunderground.
As you exhale, I breathe in and sink into,
The water underground,
And I grow pale without you.

From "The Interview" by AFI. ---> ^This has to be one of the most beautiful song segments I have ever heard.

You know what I was thinking about today?
Every moment is a miracle.
Honestly.
Think about it.

In biology, we learned about the --literally-- hundreds of thousands of tiny little seemingly insignificant things that can go wrong before you're even born. And when you're alive, there are so many ways you can die every single day. But you don't. Sometimes it seems like every breath brings nothing but pain, I know. But honestly, life is a beautiful thing if that is what you chose to make it. Every breath is a miracle and every day is a gift. We're just usually moving so fast that we don't realize that. I never realized it before. Ever.

Feeling: miffed

Listening to: "Mary" by Saving Jane

You know what I absolutely cannot stand? Girls who think they have to have a boyfriend to survive. They have to be with someone at all times, and they have to be crazy in love or their entire world just stops. You know what I have to say to them? GROW UP. There are going to be times in your life when you have no one you can cling to, especially not a guy. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WALK ALONE AND THERE IS NOT ONE FUCKING THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. You don't have to have a guy in your life to get by.

There is a reason I'm writing this today. Tonight, my school's having this Turnabout dance (girls ask the guys blah blah blah) and I'm (obviously) not there. I couldn't care less. Really. But there is one thing that makes me so angry. After my plans of obtaining a date came crashing down around me, I thought "Oh that's fine... I can just go with *insert names of several female friends here*." So I was all excited and everything and started to get my group together when they all decided that they can't POSSIBLY go unless they all have dates. Me: "But it would still be fun to go as a group like we did to Homecoming!" Them: "No, no... it's a Valentine's Day dance and we'd be miserable if we went without dates." Me:"If you could just get past the fact that society tells us we have to have dates, then I'm sure we would have lots of f-" Them: "No."

I can stand being rejected by guys, but when I turn to my girls and they let me fall, I take it personally.

@#$%$#$%#%

I guess it's easy for me to sit here and condemn girls that behave like this, because I have a boyfriend and don't have to worry about being alone. But still. I've spent 2/3 of my junior high and high school life single. And you know something? I was always okay with it. I love my boyfriend, but I have no problem being on my own. Being free. And I don't see why so many people can't understand that.

So what am I saying? Girls need to lose the "someday my prince will come" Disney princess attitude. Stand up for yourselves, ladies, and show the world that women are the stronger sex, even when we have no men to lean on. Don't sit around waiting for you prince to arrive, because that day may never come.

She says 'I won't apologize,' so stand up girls and dry your eyes. And I'll see you on the other side of good.

Feeling: cranky

Listening to: "Who's Crying Now" by Saving Jane

They Lost.

THEY FUCKING LOST.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DAMNDAMNFUCKFUCKFUCKDAAAAAAAAAMMIT.

I was so convinced the Bears were gonna go all the way. DAMMIT.

Well... Rex Grossman lost the fucking game for them. But you know what? I'm going to be the only fan in Chicago who doesn't hate him for it. I feel too sorry for him to hate him.

But... I shall try and stay with my natural hope and optimism; they are still the NFC champs and have made it farther than they had in twenty one years. It just that everyone around here's been on such a Bears high lately... and it's all going to come crashing down. GRRRR. I need to stop getting so emotionally involved in football...

-__-

oh, and btw, if I ever use any icon you've made without crediting you in the keywords, please tell me and i'll fix it.

Raven.