Like A City Of Angels

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:16:34 GMT

MOVED TO

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:15:10 GMT

Over the past month, I've been making some serious life changes, letting go of people and habits that aren't working. I'm starting a new path in life. I have a new attitude. I'm losing the whole "my life is a never ending black hole of misery and despair" mentality, and I'm walking towards the light. I'm learning to let go. I'm learning to move on. And one step I can take is by moving to a new journal. It's not 100% complete yet, but I can't wait any longer to move.

I know that an online journal is not the most important thing in the world, but I love this place. [Amanda and Aurora, you are two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for <3]. I've been on this username since eighth grade, so for three years. I need a change.

This new journal will be friends-only. I've never had a journal like that before, but I need a place to turn to when I need to vent, because the only other person I can really talk to now is my best friend, and I don't want to drive her insane ^___^. If you chose to follow me, I will automatically 100% for sure add you at my new journal, because I love you all. Either comment here, there, or add me and I'll eventually notice.

And if you chose to let me go, I completely understand. I appreciate everything you all have ever done for me, and the advice you've given means so much.

Never give up on your dreams. You are stronger than you know.

<3 Always, Raven.

I Don't Wanna Be In Love

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 02:22:58 GMT

"Dance Floor Anthem" by Good Charlotte

She’s going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there’s more
Then he gave she’s looking for

He calls her up
He’s trippin’ on the phone
Now he doesn’t want her out there and alone
Now he knows she’s smiling and
Knows she’s using it
Now he’s loosing it
She don’t care

Everybody
Put up your hands Say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feel the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”
Feelin’ good now
Don’t be afraid to get down say:
”I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love”

~~Dedicated to me, to Jessica, to everyone who has ever had the courage to walk away.
Thank you, Brandy, for introducing me to this song.

Love shouldn't hurt you. It shouldn't make you hurt yourself.
I don't wanna be in love.

<3 Raven.

PS-- I'm switching to a new journal tomorrow or Friday. I'll explain later.

We break up it’s something that we do now
Everyone has got to do it sometime
It’s okay
Let it go
Get out there and find someone

Meat. Is. Murder.

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 05:06:57 GMT

CHEW ON THIS

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I will never understand what it is in most humans' minds that makes them think they have the right to kill.
I will never understand how people can watch "Charlotte's Web" and then eat ham the next day.
I will never understand how you can justify slaughtering innocent animals when there is an easy alternative.

Your actions SICKEN ME.

I Am Too Weak To Face Me

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 05:17:43 GMT

I just stumbled upon these lyrics, and they made my heart stop.
...and I have no idea why.
They bother to the point that I don't think I can go to sleep now.

...and I have no idea why.

She can't hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguised behind the lies
And at night she cries away her pride
With eyes shut tight staring at her inside
All her friends know why she can't sleep at night
All her family asking if she's alright
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell
Well all she's got to do is stop kidding herself
She can only fool herself for so long
I'm too weak to face me
(she can only fool herself)

I never know just why you run so far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run so far away, far away from me

When it comes to how to live his life he can't be told
Says he's got it all under control
Thinks he knows it's not a problem he's stuck with
But in reality it'd be a problem to just quit
An addict and he can't hold the reins
The pain is worse cause his friends have it the same
Tries to slow down the problem he's got
But can't get off the carousel until he makes it stop
He can only fool himself for so long
I'm too weak to face me
(he can only fool himself)

I never know just why you run so far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run so far away, far away from me

Fly with me under the wings I gave you,
Try to be closer to me and I'll save you
Try to be closer to me and I'll save you

I never know just why you run so far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run so far away, far away from me

"Carousel" by Linkin Park

Surrounded By A Million But It Feels Like I'm Alone

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 04:54:35 GMT

[*squeals*]

A bunch of you made my day today and I love you all <3

Have a wonderful day rest of the week, everyone.

<3 Raven.

Like A City Of Angels, I'm Walking Towards The Light

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 04:53:44 GMT

I am 100% obsessed with this song. I've been listening to it over and over and over and over and over and--

I do love it and not just because it has two people from Avenged Sevenfold in it. Although I must admit that I got way too excited when it switched from Joel's part to M. Shadow's ^__^ Idk I just love his voice. It's so... raspy? Idk that's not the right word but oh well.
And I'm glad to see that Good Charolette seems to be getting back to the way they were back in the day. [btw did you know Benji and Joel's dad walked out on them when they were 15? I guess that explains some of their songs.]

"The River" by Good Charolette ft. M Shadows and Synyster Gates

So I was having a horribly miserable day today, right? And lately I've been somewhat worried because it feels like I'm starting to slide back to the way I felt last year which is just omg no. I would rather die than feel like that again. I swear. It was feeling like I was losing control of what was going on inside my head again. Like I was completely mentally unstable.

But then I came home from school and my sister was all like "OMGYOUHAVETOHEARTHISSONG" and I listened to it... and something inside of me just changed. I'm not sure if it was the lyrics or just the sound of the music, or simply the uniqueness of these two bands combined. Idk. It's like music has the power to stir things inside of me and reach me in ways that nothing and no one else can. But anyway.

I have come to [yet another] conclusion: I'm going to be okay.

I'm always going to be angry, and I'm always going to want to hurt myself. My mind is always going to be racing, and no one will ever understand me better than Gerard Way, M. Shadows, and Chester Bennington do. I will never be able to change the nature of my family, and things with my boyfriend & I will always be 10 times harder than it is for normal people.

But you know what? I'm strong enough to handle anything. I will make it through high school without killing myself or anyone else. I will go on to fulfill all of my dreams, living a life very far away from here. I will be okay.

Every single day I watch you become more and more consumed by darkness. I mean true darkness. Unhealthy darkness. Dangerous darkness. You have no chance of escaping it now. You're too far in. But you know something? I'm not. There's still a chance for me to break free. And unlike you... I'm willing to fight.

As I walk through the valley

of the shadow of LA

The footsteps that were next to me

have gone their separate ways

I've seen enough now

to know that beautiful things

don't always stay that way

I've done enough now

to know this beautiful place

isn't everything they say

I heard that evil comes disguised

Like a city of angels

I'm walking towards the light

Baptized in the river

I've seen a vision of my life

And I wanna be delivered

In the city was a sinner

I've done a lot of things wrong

But I swear I'm a believer

Like the prodigal son

I was out on my own

Now I'm trying to find my way back home

Baptized in the river

I'm delivered

You're from a small town

you're gonna grow up fast

underneath these lights

Down in Hollywood on the boulevard

the dead come back to life

To the praying Mother

And the worried Father

Let your children go

If they come back they'll come on stronger

and if they don't you'll know

They say that evil comes disguised

Like a city of angels

I'm walking towards the light

Baptized in the river

I've seen a vision of my life

And I wanna be delivered

In the city was a sinner

I've done a lot of things wrong

But I swear I'm a believer

Like the prodigal son

I was out on my own

Now I'm trying to find my way back home

Baptized in the river

I'm delivered

Can't You Feel The Poison Rising

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 04:44:17 GMT

*crawls to computer*

Hi. I'm back from my lil trip thing but I'm sick and dead tired. I'll get back to my normal commenting/ updating schedule tomorrow. Being away from here this weekend made me realize how addicted I truly am. Seriously. Well I missed you all and ttyl.

<3 Raven.

Frankie/Gerard pictures that make me squeal ^__^ lmao i seriously need to break this obsession. it's getting unhealthy.

okay im done i SWEAR.

And Maybe It's Not Too Late For Me To Fly

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 01:24:17 GMT

Just so everyone knows, I am going on HIATUS until Monday because I'm going out of town for the weekend with my best friend. I apologize in advance for the lack of comments.

And as soon as I get back, I'm making a MASSIVE update about the MCR concert yesterday. It was amazing beyond all words and I am a different (and better) person now. It was seriously a life altering experience. (SHUT UP, I'm addicted.) The only bad part was that I screamed so loud and jumped so much that I have almost no voice and every muscle in my upperbody hurts!!

But yes. If anything terribly important happens while I'm gone, leave me a comment. If not, see you all Monday! ^___^

<3 Raven.

National Self Injury Awareness Day

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 05:15:54 GMT

National Self Injury Awareness Day
March 1st

"We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no formal diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks."

1% of all people (2 million Americans alone) inflict pain on themselves physically by cutting, burning, head-banging and other such acts.

Sometimes it is difficult to determine where to draw the line between self-injury and "body modification." It is generally accepted that it depends on the person's reason for the act. (For example, getting a tattoo or a piercing because it "looks cool" is different than having it done because the act itself causes pain.)

Self-Injury is a coping mechanism similar to drinking, smoking, binge eating, drug abuse, workaholism, and anorexia.

Self-Injurers are not generally a risk to anyone but themselves.

Self-Injury is not a failed suicide attempt. It is also not a cry for attention. On the contrary, people who self-injure are often very clever in hiding their wounds, and equally clever at making excuses when their wounds are discovered.

In emergency rooms, people with self-inflicted wounds are often told directly and indirectly that they are not as deserving of care as someone who has an accidental injury. They are treated badly by the same doctors who would not hesitate to do everything possible to preserve the life of an overweight, sedentary heart-attack patient.

Famous Self-Injurers
Angelina Jolie    (actress)
Fiona Apple    (singer)
Johnny Depp   (actor)
Courtney Love    (singer/actress)
Shirley Manson    (singer)
Christina Ricci    (actress)
Elizabeth Wurtzel    (writer)
Princess Diana

If the content of this journal entry makes you uncomfortable to read, then maybe you can get a small taste of what some people live with everyday. Today is National Self-Injury Awareness Day. Today, I will be wearing my white and orange bracelet. Tonight, I will be standing in front of a stage watching My Chemical Romance preform, feeling no guilt because today I am clean. I know I am strong. I know I can stay this way. But I know that there are still people out there that need help. Most of them won't ask for it, so it's up to us to help them save themselves. And if you are one of these people... remember that you are not a freak and you are never alone.

_knowyoulive

this_hurts

Now And Again We Try To Just Stay Alive ~~ It's Never Too Late

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:42:49 GMT

XXXXXXXXX

"Never Too Late"

Three Days Grace

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

~~~~~~~~~~

There is a lot to be said for having hope. That, and the will & strength to keep moving everyday. I know so many people who are just ready to give up. Even some people on here. But you can't. You just can't give up.

Life can be a beautiful thing, and it is worth living. To see the rainbow, you must first endure the storm. You have to keep fighting, no matter how hard it is and no matter how much easier it would be to just give up. I believe that here is an inner strength in all of us that remains untapped until we are pushed to our limits... physically, emotionally, mentally. Strength can be found in the strangest places at the strangest times. And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall, pouring life down on me.

Please remember that NO LIFE is worthless, and each life is worth living, only if it's just one day at a time. I wish there was something I could do or say to take away everyone's pain & sadness, to make everyone see that it's never too late, but there isn't. Ultimately, I think, it's all within yourself. Keep fighting... just stay alive. I am fighting here beside you.

It's not too late.

It's never too late.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

But I'll Be Here Cuz You're All That I Got

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:32:33 GMT

I adopted a Naruto chibi! ^.^

Name: Kashaki

Likes: Books & Hugs

Dislikes: Foolish people

Owner: Raven

Click here to adopt your own Naruto chibi!

*squeals*
sorry I couldn't bare to put this behind a cut... IT'S TOO ADORABLE!!

^___^

I made a "How Well Do You Know Me" Quiz and I would appreciate it greatly if you all took it.

Take My Quiz on
QuizYourFriends.com

Thanks.

Oh... & I wrote a bunch of new testimonial and changed some others so go check yours if you haven't recently.

<3 Raven.

If You Believe In Me, How Can I Be Dissolving?

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 05:47:30 GMT

I flee to decemberunderground.
As you exhale, I breathe in and sink into,
The water underground,
And I grow pale without you.

From "The Interview" by AFI. ---> ^This has to be one of the most beautiful song segments I have ever heard.

You know what I was thinking about today?
Every moment is a miracle.
Honestly.
Think about it.

In biology, we learned about the --literally-- hundreds of thousands of tiny little seemingly insignificant things that can go wrong before you're even born. And when you're alive, there are so many ways you can die every single day. But you don't. Sometimes it seems like every breath brings nothing but pain, I know. But honestly, life is a beautiful thing if that is what you chose to make it. Every breath is a miracle and every day is a gift. We're just usually moving so fast that we don't realize that. I never realized it before. Ever.

Say goodbye to your family before you leave your house in the morning, because you never know if you'll see them again.

Tell the ones love the most how much you care about them, because you never know if you'll get another chance.

Be thankful for every day, because you never know how many you have left.

So Stand Up Girls And Dry Your Eyes

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 05:37:49 GMT

You know what I absolutely cannot stand? Girls who think they have to have a boyfriend to survive. They have to be with someone at all times, and they have to be crazy in love or their entire world just stops. You know what I have to say to them? GROW UP. There are going to be times in your life when you have no one you can cling to, especially not a guy. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WALK ALONE AND THERE IS NOT ONE FUCKING THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. You don't have to have a guy in your life to get by.

There is a reason I'm writing this today. Tonight, my school's having this Turnabout dance (girls ask the guys blah blah blah) and I'm (obviously) not there. I couldn't care less. Really. But there is one thing that makes me so angry. After my plans of obtaining a date came crashing down around me, I thought "Oh that's fine... I can just go with *insert names of several female friends here*." So I was all excited and everything and started to get my group together when they all decided that they can't POSSIBLY go unless they all have dates. Me: "But it would still be fun to go as a group like we did to Homecoming!" Them: "No, no... it's a Valentine's Day dance and we'd be miserable if we went without dates." Me:"If you could just get past the fact that society tells us we have to have dates, then I'm sure we would have lots of f-" Them: "No."

I can stand being rejected by guys, but when I turn to my girls and they let me fall, I take it personally.

@#$%$#$%#%

I guess it's easy for me to sit here and condemn girls that behave like this, because I have a boyfriend and don't have to worry about being alone. But still. I've spent 2/3 of my junior high and high school life single. And you know something? I was always okay with it. I love my boyfriend, but I have no problem being on my own. Being free. And I don't see why so many people can't understand that.

So what am I saying? Girls need to lose the "someday my prince will come" Disney princess attitude. Stand up for yourselves, ladies, and show the world that women are the stronger sex, even when we have no men to lean on. Don't sit around waiting for you prince to arrive, because that day may never come.

She says 'I won't apologize,' so stand up girls and dry your eyes. And I'll see you on the other side of good.

And In The End, The Love You Give Is Equal To The Love You Make.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 04:53:41 GMT

^^My puppy is my valentine this year ^__^

But in all seriousness, I didn't get to be with my actual valentine this year, and I know several of you didn't either. I was thinking about you all today, and I hope you made it through with minimal tears :] And for everyone who got to see their valentine today, I hope you gave them a giant hug and told them how much you loved them. And I hope my valentine knows how much I love him. <3

heh heh. this is us wearing the bows off the top of the boxes of candy our daddy got us for valentine's day. (she refused to take the picture with her eyes open... i tried like five times idk she's strange sometimes :P)
teenage girls + consecutive snow days = dangerous

Oh yes... and I stole this from the_priest

The Rules:
1. Post in a comment to this entry a song that you believe is so good that I'll like it too.
2. I have to reply to your comment telling you my honest thoughts about the choosen song.
3. If you comment here you must repost this meme in your own journal so you can see what songs your friends think you will also enjoy.

I'm Unashamed. I'm Gonna Show My Scars.

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 02:38:42 GMT

In light of recent events... I've been thinking.
I know that no matter how much I may dislike myself at times, I am who I am and there's nothing that you or I can to to change me. I am who I am. And if you can't accept that, then I Don't Need You.

I am an intellectual. Despite the fact that (to quote my mother) I 'dress like death', despite the music I listen to, despite what activities I might be interested in, I am an intellectual.

I'm going to start using GJ as more of a place to express myself, and less of a place for "OMGMCR" entries. As a result, more of my entries will be 'friends only,' but i'm not cutting anyone from my list, so that doesn't really affect any of you.

As always, thank you all for being amazing GJ friends.

<3,
Raven.

*Intelligent Survey*
You
Name:	Raven
Age:	16
Eyes:	dark brown
Hair:	brown
Height:	5'6"
Life
What do you interpret life as?:	"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about dancing in the rain."
When you are in a large crowd of people, what is your initial thoughts?:	i usually slip away from reality... let my mind wander.
What type of people do you feel you can trust more so, than any others?:	people that i'm not as close to... sometimes it's hardest for me to trust the people i'm closest too
Have you grown up in a home with a good foundation, or one this is broken?:	good foundation. i am very lucky.
Explain why you feel you are the way you are now?:	i am a very, very masochistic person
Interests
What music do you prefer?:	Rock, Oldies, some classical & some emo
Are you into art, and if so, what kinds?:	fan art/ graphic art/ sketching i do on my own
What do you regularly do for fun?:	hang out with my sister
Do you usually spend more time with interests by yourself or with friends?:	by myself
Intelligence
Have you ever failed a grade?:	no
Particularily, what is your best subject?:	science
What does it take, to possess intelligence?:	strong will power and a desire to exceed
What is your normal grade on SOL's and/or exams?:	in the top 5-7% of the school
Stength
Are you timid and shy, or loud and outgoing?:	i'm not shy, i just don't really make an effort to talk to people
When you are confronted with a difficult situation, how do you react?:	think it through, and then act
Under pressure, do you snap, or stand tall?:	stand tall
Scenario: Someone is confronting you in a volatile manner, without reason::	be volatile right back at 'em
About Your Personality
How would you describe your personality?:	like a rainbow-- there are many different, diverse parts to it, but only a few are visible at any given time.
Are you more passive, or aggressive?:	aggressive
Are there times where you want to hurt others?:	ooo yes
Time that you want to hurt yourself?:	dont. go. there.
Are you outspoken about your opinions and thoughts?:	if i believe strongly enough in something
If so, how do you usually express them?:	standing up for what i believe in/ forcing my beliefs on others :]
Are you a patient person?:	not usually
Intrapersonal Questions
Do you feel love for someone non-family?:	yes
How do you see love?:	if you have the desire and ability to overcome the pain involved with a certain person in order to be with someone, then you love them.
How do you express it?:	i really don't... i know that's bad :/
The People Around You
Do you have close friends, or just friends in general?:	a few close friends, but mostly just friends in general
Who are the closest people to you?:	my sister, best friend, and boyfriend
Do you look for friends, or just let people talk to you?:	usually just let ppl talk to me
Finally, are you social?:	no.
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Little Miss Mary Sunshine Had A Bad Day

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 05:06:07 GMT

They Lost.

THEY FUCKING LOST.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DAMNDAMNFUCKFUCKFUCKDAAAAAAAAAMMIT.

I was so convinced the Bears were gonna go all the way. DAMMIT.

Well... Rex Grossman lost the fucking game for them. But you know what? I'm going to be the only fan in Chicago who doesn't hate him for it. I feel too sorry for him to hate him.

But... I shall try and stay with my natural hope and optimism; they are still the NFC champs and have made it farther than they had in twenty one years. It just that everyone around here's been on such a Bears high lately... and it's all going to come crashing down. GRRRR. I need to stop getting so emotionally involved in football...

-__-

oh, and btw, if I ever use any icon you've made without crediting you in the keywords, please tell me and i'll fix it.

Raven.

We're Just Here To Do The Super Bowl Shuffle

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 21:54:25 GMT

'85 Bears Super Bowl Shuffle

...I love how none of the white guys in this video can dance or rap. It's times like these that I am ashamed of my heritage... XP

But yes... One hour and fourteen minutes until the Bears begin decimating the Colts.
DAAAAAAAA BEARZ.
Yay.
I honestly think they can do it, as long as their QB doesn't mess up horribly like he does every other game.

GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes... and sorry for the lack of comments lately. Trying to get better.

Monsters of the Midway

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 02:20:21 GMT

I am soooo happy right now... THE CHICAGO BEARS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I seriously have not been this happy or this excited in like a month. I said that this would be the year they'd make it all the way (okay, yeah, i've been saying that since i was eight years old, but that's okay) AND THEY'VE FINALLY MADE IT!! Lovie Smith (icon), Robbie Gould, Cedric Benson, Brian Urlacher, Bernard Barrian, and even Rex Grossman (gasp) are all my heroes right now. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
When they won earlier this evening, I was dancing in the middle of my kitchen and screaming at my mother, telling her how absolutely fantabolous this is. (My sister thinks I'm insane now.) My cousin called me like two minutes after the end of the game and we spent like five minutes just screaming into the phone b/c we were both so happy. I swear, I was like... high... and I haven't come down from it yet.
The only thing else that needs to be decided is who they're going to play. It'll be either the Indianapilos Colts or the New England Patriots, who are playing each other right now. It's tied, but I REALLY REALLY want the Colts to win cuz I hate the Patriots and they don't deserve another super bowl title. They're the only football dynasty I've ever known, and I'm sick of 'em.
So...yes. GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!

We are the Bears' Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you
We're so bad, we know we're good
Blowin' your mind, like we knew we would
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone
We're not here to start no trouble
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh. And I've decided that if I ever have a daughter, I want her to look like

This is my little cousin. Her name is Chase. She and I were both at my other cousin's party on Saturday, and Chase started crying and screaming like someone was trying to kill her or something. Her mother couldn't get her to calm down. No one could. No one... except me. I gave her a hug she clung to me. I picked her up and she stopped crying. It was so weird.
Everyone was amazed, because (as bad as it sounds) I can't stand little kids. I mean they're really cute and everything, but they're a pain and they drive me crazy. But not Chase :] She's the sweetest, most lovable little thing I've ever seen. My sister and other cousin were laughing at me because I was sitting at the dinner table holding her.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to look and behave exactly like Chase <3

<3 Raven.

Silence Swallows My Screams

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:05:57 GMT

How to make a Raven

Ingredients:

3 parts anger

5 parts silliness

1 part joy

Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little curiosity if desired!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

I decided yesterday that my user info thing sucks and needs to be fixed. So instead of starting my piles of homework when I came home today, I made a couple of picture things of the lovely me to put in there...

I put this one in my user info thingy.
lyrics: 'Welcome to the Black Parade' by MCR

And I'm debating if I should put this one in there, too.
lyrics: 'Lithium' by Evanescence

But Though You're Stil With Me, I've Been Alone All Along

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 05:44:59 GMT

I am not afraid to keep on living.
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
Honey, if you stay, you'll be forgiven.
~MCR~

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

You know something? I don't GET racism. Honestly. Call me naive, but I just don't get it. I mean who CARES if your skin is a different color than that of the person sitting next to you? Would you hate someone just because they're wearing a different color jacket than you? Would all of the blondes in the world consider enslaving all of the brunettes, just because their hair is lighter? Honestly. When you think about racism, it's really is so stupid.
The majority of my friends have a different skin color than I do. I am white, but my best friend is black/japanese/hawaiian and my boyfriend is mexican/native american. They are two of the most important people in the world to me, and not once have I ever thought of them in terms of skin color. I love them, and that's all there is to it.

<3 Raven.

Sometimes I Need You To STAY AWAY FROM ME

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:14:49 GMT

"From the Inside" Linkin Park

Don't know who to trust
No surprise
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust
And the lies

Trying not to break
But I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how
Trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me

I take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear
For the last time
I won't trust myself with you

Tension is building inside
Steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way
Out of me

I won't trust myself with you
I won't waste myself on you
Waste myself on you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I finally decide to open up. I had something really important to tell you... but no.

And you know what? I don't even fucking care. I really don't. I can blast my music and write my suicide poems- it'll make me feel just as good as talking to you. Forget about me. Hang with your goddamn friends. I. Don't. Fucking. Care.

As I type this, I can see my cell phone ringing silently. I can see your name flash across the tiny screen in brilliant, black letters. I can't pick it up. And even if I did, it would just get thrown across the room in rage, anyway.

4 Llamas Perdidas

Remember that one tournament when you decided you needed to "save me" from the creepy guy talking to me? I told you that you didn't have to save me. I'm NOT some helpless little princess that needed to be rescued. I can take care I've myself. I am stronger than you will ever understand.

And after I told you I was not a princess, you laughed quietly and kissed my hand.

>.<

6 Llamas Perdidas

Dammit you're not going away.

I'm tired of trying to trust you. I'm sick of having my heart ripped in two.

I love you more than life, but you drain what little life I have.

...

I Love You So Much.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sprawled On These Cathedral Steps While Spitting Out The Blood And Screaming

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 06:20:07 GMT

A couple of pics...

Me and Jessica at Christmas time.

Me and Kaleb on Saturday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
MCR is coming to my city in March and I swear if my parents don't let me go (for the third time -___-) someone is going to get hurt. I would risk my life to see this band and they don't get that... grr.

From an interview with Gerard Way:

MusicPix: We’ve talked a lot about emotions. And it appears that you guys have touched a hot spot because life is hard. MCR has touched a hot-spot that seems to be prevalent (and necessary) for all of us to deal with and that’s the ability to cope with the dark side of life- the duality of life. You’re obviously reaching folks with ‘issues’- what’s it like to have that kind of therapeutic influence?

Gerard: It great because it works really well…because the band started as my therapy… and then it became the band’s therapy… and that’s how we functioned for about seven months. And then it became other people’s therapy so it just made sense. Now it’s to the point where it’s a lot people’s therapy. And that’s really what the live shows are. It‘s a cathartic release of so much positive and negative energy being shot back and forth- and that’s what the live show has become. And our fans, we have the best fans in the world! We’re just starting to scratch the surface with our fans…they are the loudest, they are the craziest, they feel like our army. I can’t remember the last time I saw a band –not just have a room full of fans but to have an actual army. That’s really what they feel like when we play. We’ve actually tried to make the message slightly more positive live because I realize how impressionable some people can be.

< < MRC is my emotional supplement. > >

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I need to write a letter to a soldier in Iraq for school. Does anyone know someone serving overseas?
Happy Wednesday.

<3 Raven.

Happy New Year From MCR... a little late :]

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 07:14:46 GMT

So Get The Fuck Away From Me And Learn To Trust The Words I Say

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 05:53:05 GMT

"What do I have but negativity? 'Cuz I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me. Just stuck, hallow and alone. And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own."

~Somewhere I Belong~ by Linkin Park

"I'm not angry all the time. You push me down, at least you try. Until we see this eye to eye, I don't want you."

~Wake Up~ by Three Days Grace

"I tell them I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall."

~Watching the Wheels~ by John Lennon

"I'm dancing in the pouring rain with a smile and a touch of pain."

~Disconnect~ by After Midnight Project

"Somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed."

~Anything But Ordinary~ by Avril Lavigne

"A life in pain is a life we don't deserve. Take my hand, and off we'll burn."

~Love Is Blind~ by Dream Evil

"She paints her fingernails in black, she's on the run. On the wrong side of the track, her life is fun."

~Mary~ by Saving Jane

"Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands. Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo."

~The Sharpest Lives~ by MCR

"Five am on the bathroom floor from the night before, do you find me dreadful? Such a shame, such a sad disgrace, such a pretty face but she's not regretful. Am I beautiful? Am I useable?"

~The Killing Lights~ by AFI

"They can't break me, as long as I know who I am."

~I'm Still Here~ by Johnny Rzeznic

"Don't need you, fuck camaraderie, this rage will never go away. Hatred fuels my blood, I'll burn ya down. You can't help me. One king to watch the horsemen fall. I'll fight 'til the end I won't help you. I can't trust anyone, see it in my eyes."

~Burn It Down~ A7X